intelligently about his homosexuality. I suggested that he was jumping to conclusions and that he hadn't given them a fair chance. But he was convinced and, after all, he knew his family better than I. And so, ultimately, he sought escape from his little prison of secrecy in the "gay" bars. Whether it was the "gay" parlance he had begun to use or the peculiar friends (who frequent the bars) he had brought home occasionally that revealed him, is not known. But it is certain that his parents, an older brother and a sister are aware of it. It is neither discussed nor ignored. A stiff unnatural courtesy is evident; understanding is not. The atmosphere here might be compared to the neon light at high noon: taut, ineffectual and pathetic.
Another family I know (after their daughter ventured to tell her parents in her effort to seek togetherness) shrugged indifferent shoulders, so to speak, and attributed her "attitude” to a prolonged adolescence. They suggested that she had not yet recognized the qualities of the male. Contrary to this opinion it may be said that the homosexual has an exceptional empathy with people of the opposite sex and that, in view of this, the family was not being objective.
The father of a young homosexual I know pitches his tent in the "letwell-enough-alone" camp, and is content that his son lives in a city miles distant. He sends an occasional check to his son to insure financial ease and make sure, at the same time, that the boy doesn't make an unexpected appearance due to economic problems. Only the father is aware of his son's aberration. There has been no incident or trouble to suggest an exposure. The man's apparent cowardice has distorted his rationality and destroyed the true relationship with his son. No effort is made here to understand. In
a way the man is using his own device to cut his own throat.
Another family (whom I see often) endeavors to "put a light" on the heretofore unknown subject. They read books on it-books that have been recommended by their son. (Who knows better than the homosexual himself, a subject that has been so close to him?) They hear his problems and try to solve them. This is the kind of family illustrative of the slogan "The family that prays together stays together." It is always a pleasure to visit this family. They are a wholesome, happy group; intensely interested in life and always eager to solve its problems if they can.
But, of course, there's the brain washing of the old school-the sex taboo, the very fear of the word itself. It is time then to prove our capacity to get into the meaning, to understand, to peel the veneer from the word and examine it in its true light. Words are rather queer implements. after all. If we were to use protestant to mean homosexual, can you imagine how it would sound to you? If female were used to connote lesbianism, the word would be voiced in low undertones.
To the popular mind sex in a homosexual relationship seems to be ranked first in importance. But it is ridiculous to consider it in this light alone, when a healthy minded person knows that any "marriage" (and I use the word to connote the union of two people) does not rest on sex alone. Any wholesome and true relationship is comprised of companionship, friendship, mutual understanding and interests. It is so in a sound heterosexual union-why would it be less in the true homosexual relationship? If it is sincere?
Indeed, how can a well-rounded relationship with you be reached without sincerity? Honesty is a necessity if you want your son or daughter to be
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